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God According to the So-Called Bible Believers Who Try to Reconcile Science & the Genesis Account

(This new NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope image shows the globular cluster IC 4499.)

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The Genesis account according to Old Earth (millions of yrs), theistic evolution, bible-believers, so called: (We’ll call it Genesis according to the prophet Hugh Ross or the Ross/Tim Keller version of creation.)

The following is an imaginary, conversation between the Father & an incredulous angelic scribe.

God [speaking to His Son & an angelic scribe as to how the universe is to begin]:  In the beginning were elements that came together over billions of years into chunks of matter, stars & moons & such, but in such a way as to defy the general laws of science & form in one spot a completely unlikely place called earth, where all the objects align so that I can create on that place.

Angel [Interrupting]:  Sir, why would you cause something to happen contrary to the laws of science you created? And doesn’t that contradict the account you plan to give to the prophet, Moses? As the angelic scribe, I’ve seen the 1st draft of the 1st five books of the bible, you know.

God:  It’s just the way I want to do it. You have a problem with that?! Anyway, I’m just going to give literary/theological/ecclesiastical devices to that fellow, Moses. This is the scientific stuff, the real deal.

Angel:  Sir, if I may, you are the Creator of theology, ecclesiastical stuff, words & their meaning, & science. Why would you create two different meanings? In addition to your threatening your credibility, won’t there be confusion from two different accounts?

God:  Not for a long time.  We can keep the wool over their eyes until one day, when all will become clear to my creation about the two accounts. Prophet Ross will see to that.  At first, a bunch of goat- & sheep herders won’t understand the science anyway.  And Satan is the author of confusion, not me. And what do you mean by threatening to my credibility?  What are you implying, Angel?

Angel:  I’m not implying anything, I’m just saying . . .

God:  Watch your tone.

Angel:  Yes, sir.

God:  Continue with your transcription. Then let the elements conglomerate, divide, get electrolyzed into Di-Hydrogen Oxygen & other compounds . . . somehow, by happenstance, so that water can exist in the atmosphere & ground and over millions of years, to eventually form oceans.

Angel:  Sir, uh, that process also violates your laws of science; not sure how your Son is supposed to do that.

God:  I’ll know He’ll get it done. I know He can do it.

Angel:  Alright, but it’s gonna be tough to reconcile these crazy, chance events that defy scientific laws.

God:  Got confidence in my Boy. Continue with the transcription, Angel. Then, after ocean-formation & somehow at the same time that water is formed, green single-celled & multi-celled plants form (because life will need plants to help with the formation of oxygen), absorbing sunlight for them to gain nutrition and survive.

Angel:  Sir, one thing . . .

God:  You again?

Angel:  Right, sir. Just a question. Remember that I’ve seen the first draft of the account you will give to Moses on the mountain burning with fire, inspired by Your Spirit, & you say in that account that before the heavens & earth were formed, light was formed, and after the earth was formed, water & dry land separated & on the same day, you created plants to grow, then the next day you created the lights in the sky, the sun & moon & stars. Remember?

God:  Of course, I know that! What’s your question? Spit it out.

Angel:  Well, that seems to be a different order than what you’re saying now. You’re saying that plants form after the sun exists & that the plants form oxygen for life on earth to survive. The account you will later give to Moses doesn’t have that order of creation.

God:  So? I can create in any order I choose!

Angel:  Of course, you can. I understand that. I was just wondering why you would change the account of what happened later, that’s all.

God:  Look, Angel, I understand you’re a little slow. You’re just a created being, but without plants & sun & water existing together for millions of years, how will the plants survive as food for you-know-who?

Angel:  Oh, right, you mean your crowning creation, man?

God:  Right. Now, you’re catching on.

Angel:  But that raises another question. Why would you tell your prophet Moses, the greatest until John the Baptist, that all that just took three days for you to create? Not millions of years?

God:  We’ve already been over this.

Angel:  Right, right, the literary/theological/ecclesiastical stuff . . .

God:  Exactly. Continue transcribing. Now, while all the green cells with chlorophyll & plants are forming over millions of years, animal cells (bacteria) form too by accidental mistakes in the core part of their planning & thinking mechanism of their cells resulting in . . .

Angel:  Sir, another question.

God:  Not again!

Angel:  Yes, sir. In the Moses version of the beginning, you spoke things into existence in one day for each part of creation – six days total, and your Son made it happen in perfect harmonious cooperation with the Holy Spirit, and by the way, they were awesome at their job, creating everything good, even very good. But these mistakes & accidents over millions of years, how does that match up?

God:  (Sighs)  Remember the 2 accounts ain’t supposed to match up. The real thing just isn’t very good literature. 2nd, it makes it all even more miraculous when things happen contrary to my laws & the laws of probability. Moving on, scribe. . . . resulting in deaths & births over millions of generations & larger, more complicated, & smarter cells, animals, fish, birds, etc. eventually forming a humanoid without a soul.

Angel:  Sir, forgive me, what’s death?

God:  Well, you know, when a living thing no longer lives.

Angel:  But what about sin? Isn’t the process you’re telling me about a punishment on the creation for man’s sin even before man sins?

God:  Yeah, so?

Angel:  I know you control time and all, but how can you punish the creation & put it into bondage without the sin happening first?

God:  You said it. The sin happens, it just happens afterwards. Death causes animals to go extinct, but the ones that get accidental improvements over time will not go extinct; they will improve & progress. It’s science. Get it?

Angel:  Oh, I get it. You know the end from the beginning & you know what improvements will happen.

God:  Actually, I don’t just know. I’ll make sure through my providential guidance of the process that we get the results we want – humanoids. It’s so much more interesting when it takes billions of years.

Angel:  But I thought you said it was science. If you providentially guide the process, that’s not really science, is it? That’s miraculous.

God:  That’s right, I am. Just record it that way, and let’s get on with it.

Angel:  My head is spinning. I better just let you get on with it.

God:  Then out of all the evolved humanoids existing on earth at a certain time billions of years after everything started, God picks a male & female humanoid & puts a soul in them & names them Adam & Eve.

Angel:  Arghhh, sir, with all due respect, what about the dirt & the breath of life & the rib & all that?

God:  Great literature, remember?

Angel: Oh yeah. Sorry. But what about what you just said about a scientific process instead of an instantaneous, one-day event, which you speak into existence. By picking out two humanoids to invest with a soul contrary to all the other humanoids and contrary to the process of evolution you thought up, aren’t you changing the entire process & making it non-scientific?

God:  I intervened. I’m God, I can do that, bud.

Angel:  It’s just so confusing, and it’s not confusing in an awe-inspiring, glorious way. It’s confusing in that you seem, well, you seem to be arbitrary, neither scientific nor miraculous, neither omnipotent nor a grand watch-maker. You seem suddenly to be inconsistent, maybe even schizophrenic. Some will compare the Moses & Hugh Ross accounts & call you dishonest. Sir, are you sure you want to present yourself this way?

God:  Angel, I detect a tone to your questions. Remember to watch that tone!

Angel:  Yes, sir. I’m trying . . . really I am. It’s just all so mixed up.

After reading the cynical portrayal of the creation account above, as modified by science so-called, you should first chuckle, then you should weep.